Managed to get out the house to get to the pharmacy before it closes at 6pm which is hard for me atm… found out it’s a bank holiday. 😑
It might seem silly, but it’s thrown my whole mood off.
Any other #ActuallyAutistic people experience this sort of thing & have any advice?
Observations after this happened earlier.
Allowed myself to sit with the upset & frustration.
Wrote a list of things I wanted to do even though I didn’t feel like doing anything, which made me more frustrated.
Scribbled angrily in the corner of my list & threw my pen.
Vented about it on here, to my gf & to my mum.
Put in my earplugs, played music over my headphones, sat in bed with my weighted blanket & scrolled through Pinterest for a bit.
Said outloud to my gf that I was going to try to put the trampoline together.
Unhelpfully, I don’t know what made me decide to try this. 🤣
But I managed to get up. Possibly having music on my headphones the whole time helped.
I put the trampoline together, and bounced on it a little bit!
And now I feel more like how I did before going out earlier. So it took about 2 hours to process that upset & frustration I was feeling.
I wrote this thread mostly as a reminder for myself in future, but now I think about it more, I’m reminded of all the times I’ve been upset/frustrated etc & my feelings have been dismissed with phrases like:
“It doesn’t matter”
“It’s not important”
“Just forget about it”
“It’s no one’s fault”
And of course: “there’s no use crying over spilt milk”
It makes me angry that this is a standard reaction many people have when they see someone react how I did to something that seems silly or insignificant to them.
I know if I’d tried to deny myself those feelings earlier it would have impacted me for days.
I’m grateful that I have learnt to notice & sit with my feelings, even when it feels poop in the moment & especially when it’s over something I know many would minimise or dismiss.