So many people come to me for a first voice lesson & start by saying “I’ve never been able to sing”, and every single one (in my 12+ years of teaching) has ended the lesson somewhere between “oh, maybe I can sing” and “woah, I can sing”.
I have had so many students tell me I’m the first person to ever say anything nice about their voice, and that their whole lives people have always told them to stop singing, either outright, or through facial expressions.
The damage that saying or even suggesting negative things about other people’s voices has on a person is DEEP. What’s more, that damage can also be done by people saying negative things about their own voice!
- A kid asks a parent to sing with them & they ‘brush it off’ with something like “No sweetheart, I can’t sing, I just want to listen to your beautiful voice.”
- A group of friends are at a pub with karaoke & they all try to make each other get up and do a song whilst vehemently refusing to do so themselves.
- Someone is lost in the joy of singing along to a song in the car or at home, and a person with them winces, or puts headphones on, or turns the radio up.
All of these things tell us we shouldn’t feel good about our voice, that we can’t sing.
But these reactions are taught to us from childhood, and they become our thoughts. They are not facts.
So here is an affirmation from me, a singing teacher & singer, to you. Save it, screenshot it, or create your own with these words, and look at it whenever you think “I can’t sing”, and know that you absolutely can.
